Dating as a Single Parent (II)

I want to subtitle this blog: Good Grief, he's a Muso.

But that would be getting ahead of myself.

I get few moments of non-toddler sanity peace and quiet most days. One day a week, I take Pickle to a swimming class. He inevitably has a bite of lunch after his lesson, we splash in the outside pool and slides and then more lunch... before Pickle slips into a deep and lengthy sleep (I consider anything over 45 minutes a lengthy nap these days). I then sneak in lunch with a friend, or a peaceful coffee on my own, while Pickle sleeps in his pram.

I chose a new venue for lunch recently; there are many cafes along the Esplanade, and I'm slowly working my way through them. It was buzzing, and I managed to grab the last table as the previous occupants left. Perusing the menu, I was approached to see if I'd mind sharing the table. And that's when I met... let's call him BigTed. Not only does the Aussie Play School connotation appeal due to my new locale, but this guy is tall - a foot taller than my meager 5'2, solid and age appropriate (in a town filled with backpackers and OAPs, this final point is not to be sniffed at).

We started chatting. He made me laugh. And then I found out he's a muso. Good grief. I've never been one to desire the proverbial "I'm with the band" t-shirt. Especially now that I'm a single Mummy. OK, so this guy isn't only a muso, he's an engineer too. And a Dad. But I can't quite get past the muso bit.

He offered to take a competition card to the cash register for me. And then gallantly paid for my lunch. I was disappointed that he didn't ask for my number, so was glad when he texted me later that day to see if he could take me out again. He'd lifted my mobile number from the competition card... Ingenious or stalker-like? Perhaps I should name him ScaryBear instead?

Should I run a mile from this muso? Or embrace the creative?

Cheers, KangaRue :)

Family Fun Day

I am living in an absolutely beautiful part of the world right now. Kilometres of pristine beach for swimming, fishing, snorkelling, diving, windsurfing, stand-up paddle-boarding (I really need to try this one), kite-surfing*, windsurfing, kayaking** and sailing. There are two great bike paths, a more direct one that runs through the centre of town (that I use most often) and a meandering but more scenic one with stunning views out over the Pacific Ocean.

And while there are loads of activities and events, there seems to be little effective communication. There are three local papers, but they often seem to report what already happened this week - and I often think "Pickle and I would have liked to have done that". With that in mind, I have plugged into various Facebook pages, websites and e-newsletters with the hope of keeping on top of events that both Pickle and I would enjoy, and will share them here in the endeavor to get the word out, and maybe even make some more friends in the community.

The next free event that I've come across is the Family Fun Day put on by the Hervey Bay Community Centre. It sounds like a blast with loads of games and activities planned: jumping castle, face painting, music, dance, market stalls and a sausage sizzle.  Hope to see some of you there!

Location: Hervey Bay Community Centre, 22 Charles Street, Pialba
Date: Saturday, 11th May 2013
Time: 10am to 3pm

I'll keep you posted with upcoming events. There will likely be a focus on kid-friendly and foodie events (where my obvious interests lie), and while not all of them will be free, they will be budget-conscious.

Are there any types of events in particular that you'd like to know more about in advance?

Cheers, KangaRue :)

*does it count that I held on to the back of my friend doing this, and only let go when we really started to fly?
**planned for the near future - if it's not too embarrassing, I may blog about it. Actually, if it's really embarrassing, I'll probably blog about it sooner!

This is not a sponsored post.

Dating as a Single Parent (I)

I've been dating.

I've mentioned the tragic date with the semi-toothless guy and being propositioned by Dr. Coy... But thankfully there are some slightly more eligible and attractive male specimens in Hervey Bay. Some of them are even below OAP age!

In my past dating life, I used nicknames for my dates with my friends. The main purpose it served was as an easier way for my friends to distinguish them - BoyWonder was named not only for his age, but also because he had a bit of Clark Kent going for him. I intend to keep the tradition going, with the added benefit of providing a privacy protecting pseudonym for my suitors.

Two contenders stand out so far. Both are single Dads with shared care for their kids.  The first we'll call Sparky. He's a lovely guy, thoughtful and relaxed.

I found it a little weird that he didn't know what a blog was though. I get that someone might have never read a blog (though I am struggling with getting my head around this alone). But to not even know what a blog is? I'm pretty sure I ballsed up the explanation too. His sense of privacy means he baulked at the idea of blogging at all... So not sure I'll divulge his inclusion here. He's also not particularly open conversationally - though we've had great discussions about travel and a bit about food.

He's also doesn't eat red meat. Not a deal breaker in it's own right, but don't lecture me about my food choices. Someone pass me a steak knife please...

So Sparky should give you an idea of his line of work. I don't really care what someone does for a living, as long as they enjoy it and find it challenging or inspiring. Obviously not every day can be blissful, but otherwise slogging through a third of each day would be tiresome at best. But Sparky dropped into conversation that he's the boss, along with the properties he has invested in. I'm not sure if it's a nerves thing, where he feels the need to "big" himself up, but I've found it a little off putting - red-flags are flapping as previous relationships featured guys with underlying insecurity that manifested as bragging and arrogance, which eventually got directed towards me. So no thanks as a general rule. But we'll see. At worst, I'd like to keep him as a friend.

Details of my other suitor will have to wait for another day.

Being the boss and owning properties should logically be a draw-card, yet I'm finding it a turn-off... Am I nuts? 

Am I being naive thinking I can stay friends with someone I've dated briefly?

Cheers, KangaRue :)

Man in the Moon (aka Happy New Year!)

Today is my New Year. The start of a great year after a year liberally dosed with a fair amount of crap*.

A year ago yesterday (or the early hours of this morning given the time difference in the UK), BoyWonder said that he wanted a divorce. I've moved on in a number of ways: location, attitude, outlook... and there has been a lot of self reflection, which is obviously an ongoing thing. I've also had time to reflect on past relationships and experiences.

A lifetime ago, I was engaged to a(nother) boy who couldn't see the man in the moon. Not a deal-breaker, you might think? But being able to see the "face" in the moon came to represent a level of imagination, dreaming and playfulness. I said to myself that I'd never go out with someone who couldn't see the man in the moon again. But then I married him. Perhaps it was doomed from the start? OK, that's not really giving either of us enough credit, but I can be a bit blithe in my own blog I hope?! A fortune teller in Hong Kong about 8 years ago may agree though, but that's for a future blogpost.

So while it might not be a first date question (because, quite frankly, they might think I'm even more nuts than I am a little nuts), I think I will be asking it pretty early on in any relationship. Will I base views of longevity on the answer? Probably not as a knee-jerk reaction, but it will certainly influence my thinking long term. So while I may not walk away immediately, I'd probably start extricating myself pretty quickly. 

So do you have any left-of-centre deal-breakers? (I can't be the only one?!!)

Cheers, KangaRue :)

*the year has had a lot of positives too - Pickle constantly amazes me, I've watched friends get engaged and married, had some awesome times with both friends and family and met some fantastic new friends too.