40th Birthday Tattoo (4/365)

Today is my 40th Birthday.  I'm not one to worry about the "big" birthdays.  I don't generally set targets of what I "should" have achieved by a certain age (though 27 was a doozy, as I was "supposed" to be married with two kids by then, and I was newly single!).  Since studying counselling, I've come to realise that using judgemental wording in an internal dialogue is neither helpful nor constructive... but back to the far less lofty theme of this post.

While tossing around the idea of a tattoo for years, I've never been comfortable settling on an image that would permanently adorn my body.  And where would I want it?  I liked the idea of it being discreet, so I could wear a strapless dress without it being visible; but I would also want to be able to see it, otherwise I didn't see the point.

Quite frankly, I had body issues.  But then I became pregnant, and my body, including its lumps and bumps, was growing a baby.  I loved my body more than I ever had before during my pregnancy.  In fact, I think it's the first time I ever truly loved it.  I'd appreciated it before, liked certain aspects, didn't mind others, and had my fair share of hang-ups and things I didn't like.  But I think my Demi-shot shows how amazing I felt during my pregnancy.  And all in spite of the immense SPD pain.

One of my earlier "mother
& child" drawings

And while I must acknowledge my new singledom at this coming juncture in my life was partly a catalyst, my beautiful Pickle was the inspiration for the design.  Early civilisation honoured women and motherhood, and  matriarchal societies were prevalent.  Spirals were typically used to represent the mother-goddess.  So with this in mind I started searching for images; even starting a Pinterest board.  Some were almost right.  But wanting something truly personal, I started drawing some ideas, inspired by and combining some tribal designs.  And it all came together when I had the realisation that my hip would be the perfect place to have it.

Kisses from Pickle &
a balloon from a friend.
Another friend said
"naughty at 40"!

I got some recommendations and headed to Frith Street Tattoo for a detailed consultation and later headed in with my hand-drawn design, where it was tidied up and applied (is that the right word?) by Oliver better than I could have imagined. (And while there was some discomfort, it was nothing like contractions, though I did utilise my HypnoBirthing techniques to manage the sensations!)

So for my 40th birthday present to myself, I now have a mother-goddess spiral topped with an E for Pickle's IRL name.  I wanted colour, so had the E filled with turquoise, one of my two favourite colours.  To me this celebrates my body being an amazing thing that grew an even more amazing person.  Happy Birthday to me.

4 January 2013

Let me know what you think?  Do you have any tattoos?

Cheers, @Kanga_Rue

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Quite frankly, I'm hoping my SilverLining is somewhere very close over the rainbow... but for now I'm having some crappy days.  Wednesday was a good day, and hopefully tomorrow will be a good day too.  I've been quiet on the blogging front, so hopefully this post will explain why, on top of the usual being a Mummy, study and life in general excuses.

A couple of days after Pickle and I returned from Oz, BoyWonder* said he wanted a divorce.  (Nothing like burying the lead, hey).  I've been trying to work things out, but he's adamant that he's felt like this for some time and can't move beyond how he feels.  We tried two sessions of couples counselling, and while my goal is to work through our problems, build on our friendship and reconcile, his goal is for an amicable divorce, so there's not a lot for the counsellor to work with.

I'm pissed at him.  I think he's a numpty and will regret it down the track.  And that's being kind.  I'm angry, but most of all I'm sad.  I've been dealing with a good dose of denial as well - it's actually been months since this happened, and I guess I was hoping he'd change his mind, see the error of his ways or whatever.  I'm doing a good job of working my way through Kubler-Ross' stages of grief.

I had depression about four years ago.  It was my second time.  Most people who get depression will get it more than once.  BoyWonder* blames my depression for the downturn in our relationship and his subsequent depression.  It's an illness, you have to have a predisposition to it, a bit like diabetes say.  Believe me, I've argued 'til I'm blue in the face that I can't be blamed.  And I'll be the first to put my hand up to say I didn't pull my weight around the house when I was depressed.  But when he's running through a list of any and all of my failings from the past seven years of our relationship, it's no wonder it's not worked.

His inability to communicate is a major factor - he has one friend who he's been completely honest with, but talking to me a couple of years ago might have helped.  He admits he hasn't been successful either in opening up or when he has, not doing it successfully.  My lack of realisation just goes to show there's a reason people don't counsel those they know.

When we first started going out, within the first three months in fact, I pointed out our age difference (he's 9 years younger than me) and how I really wanted kids and eventually wanted to move back to Australia.  We agreed on the fundamentals.  Since then, BoyWonder* has changed his mind, or was previously only telling me what I wanted to hear.  I was naive enough to believe it.

And while I am trying to have a balanced, non-snarky post here (not least because my lovely in-laws might read this), he's starting to sound a bit like Mother-bloody-Teresa.  He's made some really horrible comments recently... mind you, I've stropped back with "you'll be rid of me soon enough" as well, so not my finest moment.  Thankfully they've been the exception to the rule, and I believe I've (generally) dealt with them in a calm and adult way.  But FFS, he's leaving me.  A little snark is surely allowed?

He wants to stay friends, and I think that will be possible, if we can get through the crappy stuff quickly.  We're trying to do the divorce bit as amicably as possible.  It would be good to stay friends in the long term, as he's still Pickle's Daddy, and we both want what is best for Pickle.

For now, that will mean Pickle, the cats and I move back to Australia in the near future; to be closer to our families, and at least in the same country as the friends I consider close enough to be family.  It will unfortunately mean leaving a few of my really close friends here who I love dearly, and who have been a great support.  I'm crying while I'm typing this now.  In the library.  Nice.

It will of course mean leaving BoyWonder* in the UK too.  We will set up regular Skype times for Pickle, but it won't be the same.  Down the track there will be visits.  We'll sort it out.  It won't be easy, but hopefully there will be a SilverLining.  Cross your fingers for me, OK?

Cheers, KangaRue :)

* well that pseudonym is going to have to change isn't it!  Alternate suggestions welcome, but Pickle's Daddy (PD) might have to suffice for now.

PS.  If you are family or friends reading this post, and this is how you found out, I hope you can forgive the mode of communication - quite frankly, it's exhausting to talk about.

78/366 - Mummies Day!

Today is Mother's Day in the UK.  I am in Australia.  It is my first Mother's Day.  So I do feel I've missed out a little bit being away from BoyWonder, and with Pickle a little too small to make a fuss!  So I was delighted when this was delivered...

78/366 - 18 Mar 2012

Some of my favourite flowers - scented lilies, orange roses, irises and lisianthus!  Along with a card that read:

Dear Mummy,

Look what I organised while you were sleeping...

Lots of Love, 

Pickle

(PS the cats say "hi, we miss you too")  

*melt*  So Happy Mother's Day to me and all the Mummies out there, and big hugs to those of you who are no longer able to give your Mummy or babies hugs anymore.

PS.  Since Mother's Day in Australia isn't until May, and I'll be back in London by then, don't you think I should get spoiled then too?  (Take Note: BoyWonder!)

Cheers, KangaRue :)

54/366 - Farewell Phoebe

Before the unstoppable and slightly loony Lulu & Hermes, was the adorable Phoebe.  I was lucky enough to be her Mummy before coming to London - my parents agreed to look after her for the "12 months" I was going to be away for... so she has been their cat for far longer than she was mine.  I only saw her a little over a year ago, when she was looking quite fat, and though you can't tell from this photo as she's all curled up, she had become really, really thin.

54/366 - 23 Feb 2012

She'd stopped eating, was only drinking a little water, but it was when she didn't come in for her morning cuddle that my parents realised she would need to be euthanised.  I think she was waiting around to meet Pickle, so it was lovely to have a final cuddle and pat with her.  She was a truly lovely cat, and she had a good run at 16 and a half years (about 115 by human standards), but today was nonetheless, a sad day.  She is now resting under a gardenia plant in the back garden.  Rest in peace, Phoebe  :'(

Cheers, KangaRue :)

32/366 - Shadows

A quick snap of Pickle and I today.  The sun was shining, but it was cold outside.  He was a bit grumpy today, and couldn't bare for me to be more than an arms length away from him.  Not only did his first tooth break through, but 5 days later, the second bottom tooth decided to do the same - poor thing, no wonder he's out of sorts.  And that's Lulu curled up in the crook of the chair in our shadow.

32/366 - 1 Feb 2012

I spent the day baby-wearing him, and in the afternoon went out to a new - to us - child centre for Bouncing Babies (sing and sign).  He loved it, and it was a really nice atmosphere, and they also have a sensory room which Pickle enjoyed exploring.  There were great opportunities for photos in there, but it was a little cramped with some other mummies and their babies also having a look (besides, Pickle wasn't really in the mood), so we'll be booking the room again soon for some photo opportunities!

Cheers, KangaRue :)

23/366 - A Ramble Through Greenwich

I decided to go for a bit of a wander with Pickle today, with the intention of eventually ending up at the National Maritime Museum, but neither heading there directly nor with any planned route.  So I jumped off the train a stop early at Maze Hill, a station I'd never been to before.  On entering Greenwich Park from a side I'd never come from before, I discovered a completely different park - much more open and less inhabited.  We headed straight up the hill, towards the North West and then into the centre of the park, up and down quite steep slopes.

Heading up the first hill, I realised that 9 or 10 months ago, I would have struggled to walk up that hill with my SPD even without pushing Pickle in the pram.  In fact, even 3 or 4 months ago, I would have found it painful... but I was doing fine.  Pickle was getting tired and a bit bored in the pram, so I bundled on the Moby wrap for some baby-wearing time, which we both love. Sure, I'm a bit sore now, but hopefully after a good night's sleep (fingers crossed!), I'll be fine tomorrow.

23/366

We got all the way across to the Observatory, which is the subject of today's picture; I took it as I was heading back down the hill towards the museum, where I grabbed a bite to eat and wandered around.  There are some fantastic photo opportunities inside, and since it seems to be my latest "hang", no doubt there will be some further photos featured from here soon.

Cheers, KangaRue :)

20/366 - My Other Babies

Meet Lulu and Hermes, my other babies.  Lulu is the blue Burmese on the left, and Hermes is the chocolate Burmese on the right.  When they're not chasing each other like loons around the house, or up and down their cat scratching-post/tree, they are often found cuddled up together, often on a lap.

20/366

They were named after handbags, as I love accessories (see my earlier 17/366 post: Indulgence II); I adore Lulu Guinness handbags, and while I own quite a few, I can only aspire to a Hermes Kelly bag.

Aren't the just so snuggly.

Cheers, KangaRue :)

Opening the Pickle Jar or Out Through the Sun-Roof

There is so much negativity surrounding the birthing process - all forms of media cite the pain of childbirth and mothers try to out-do each other with the horror stories of their labour.  HypnoBirthing endeavors to act as a counterpart reaction to this; with deep relaxation, breathing and meditation techniques the birthing process doesn't need to filled with screams and writhing in pain.

Months of reading Marie Mongan's HypnoBirthing and listening to her CD, and attending HypnoBirthing classes with Dany at Tums2Mums, and listening to her mp3s, had me looking forward to a calm, natural birth.  The techniques I'd learned had already helped with the SPD pain I was experiencing, so I was confident they would also be useful during the birthing process.

My due date came and went.  I always thought the date was wrong, and my hunch was that Pickle would arrive two weeks early.  Hastily I booked my bump photo shoot for week 37 with Harriet of Buckingham Photography (future blog to follow on both this and the baby shoot, though you can see some pics already here and here) and BoyWonder and I also did a bump casting at home.  Then I waited, but was surprisingly not terribly impatient, despite my growing enormity.  I figured (thanks to the HypnoBirthing teachings) that Pickle would arrive when Pickle was good and ready.

I "grew" for another
6-weeks after this!

Then, the Thursday during week 42 (i.e. 2 weeks after my "due date"), a nurse suggested induction.  On the spot.  BoyWonder was at work, so I declined, and said I'd come back on the Sunday if necessary.  With BoyWonder's birthday on the Saturday, I thought we'd wait to see how things progressed naturally.  I had a feeling things would start happening any day now, so after chatting to Dany that evening, I went to bed as usual.

1:28am I awoke with a start.  That was not a Braxton Hicks (practice birthing sensations).  I waited to see if it happened again.  Sure enough it came pretty quickly, so I woke BoyWonder up, and received a "oh, ok... can I go back to sleep now?".  Umm, no, we have to time them.  My surges (contractions in HypnoBirthing-speak) were coming five to five-and-a-half minutes apart.  Another request to go back to sleep from BoyWonder, and he lobbed his phone at me to time my surges.  Now, I was trying to use HypnoBirthing techniques and listen to Dany's calming voice on my laptop, so coming out of a relaxed state to press a freaking button on a phone was not particularly helpful.  But I was calm enough, and soon got fed up laying in bed.  So I got up to get a top out of the dryer* that I wanted to wear to hospital, and decided to phone my Mum in Australia at the same time.  By now my surges were about four minutes apart, and I chatted away to my Mum after telling her I was having her grand-baby.  I did get quiet every now and again during our half-hour or so call, and was doing pregnancy yoga moves along with my Hypno breathing.  Eventually, when my surges were coming between two-and-a-half and three minutes apart, I told Mum I should call the hospital and she hastily despatched me!

I woke BoyWonder up again, he phoned the hospital and they told us to come in.  Not before I had a shower, as I had no idea how long it would be until I got the next one.  So we both showered and dressed and drove the few minutes up the road at around 3:30am.

My birth plan detailed an active birth (using the pregnancy yoga moves I had learnt) followed by a relaxed and calm water birth using deep relaxation.  But first an examination was required to monitor Pickle and see how dilated I was.  Apparently I was only around 2cm (10cm is when the baby is ready to emerge), however the midwives were concerned with Pickle's heartbeat.  While it's natural for a baby's heartbeat to slow during a surge (or contraction), Pickle's was taking a while to recover after each, which could indicate that he was getting distressed.  A doctor was called.  To say she was abrupt would be the understatement of the century.  I wasn't allowed to sit on the yoga ball, stand, squat or lie on my side.  Instead I had to lay flat on my back - the most unnatural way for a woman giving birth, and one that increases discomfort considerably.  Not once did the doctor ever look me or BoyWonder in the face - she sort of just gazed in the middle of us while telling us what was going to happen.

During all of this, the surges were coming every two minutes or so, and I kept with the Hypno techniques and breathing.  I registered with amusement, one of the midwives saying "she's so quiet".  They would ask me "are you having another one" and I would nod.

BoyWonder - despite his initial reserve at having his sleep interrupted - came through wonderfully and questioned the doctor about changing my position, and then about what would happen if we waited ten or fifteen minutes before the sweep; then the breaking my waters.  I said it was OK to go ahead, and he checked I was sure - this is all part of the HypnoBirthing training, and it meant I felt in control of the process, and didn't feel pressured (mind you, the doctor wasn't best pleased).  And let me assure you, neither procedure is one I'd choose unnecessarily!  When neither procedure produced the results the doctor was looking for, she suggested an emergency Cesarean-section.  Now this really wasn't on the birth plan!  BoyWonder asked again what would happen if we waited even ten minutes, but I could hear Pickle's heartbeat and said it was OK, we needed to do what was best for the baby.  As long as I didn't have to have a general anesthetic.  I'd previously had an anesthetic consultation and the anesthetist at the time had insisted that is what I would need due to my previous back issues.  However, the lovely anesthetist that was present on the day said an epidural would suffice.

So off I was wheeled to be prepped for surgery.  BoyWonder was gowned.  I was tilted on a bed so the weight was on my left side to avoid the main vein that links to the placenta and also so my feet were raised which I think is supposed to help my blood pressure.  BoyWonder was seated on my right, so I really had to twist to see him.  I could feel tugging and pulling, but nothing else.  I kept using the breathing and visualisation exercises throughout.  And chatted to BoyWonder and the anesthetist when I felt like it.  The other medical professionals discussed music downloads amongst themselves.

Finally Pickle was out - it was 6:28am on Friday 19th August 2011, a mere five hours since I'd first awoken.  Though I still couldn't see past the sheet that had been placed in front of me, BoyWonder had a peek and discovered Pickle was a him!  Next on my birth plan was immediate skin-to-skin and breastfeeding.  But Pickle had been distressed and was covered in meconium (basically he'd pooed a little on the way out).  So BoyWonder got to hold him briefly while I caught a glimpse of his adorable little face out of the corner of my eye, but I loved him instantly.  I wasn't quite prepared for the depth or intensity.  And then they whisked him away as his breathing was a little fast (inhaling meconium can cause respiratory issues) to place him under a heat lamp and monitor him for a while.

I headed to recovery, and must have drifted off briefly, as the time seemed to whiz by - I was taken to the ward, what seemed like minutes later, but was almost two hours.  My little boy was brought to me about 15 minutes later, but it seemed like much longer; I finally got skin-to-skin contact with him just before 8:30am.  He was closely monitored, and at 2am that first night, he was whisked away as his breathing was still a little too quick.  His blood gases were checked, and I think it was something about not enough CO2 that required him to be taken to the Special (Intensive) Care unit.  I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach when they took him away from me; when the bought him back at 5am, I had the same physical reaction, but because I was so glad he was back with me - I can't even begin to comprehend how families cope with babies in there long term.

BoyWonder wasn't aware I was taking
this shot at the time  (in fact, I'm not
sure he's even seen this photo!) , he
was  completely entranced with Pickle,
which was lovely 

So while my birth plan - for all intents and purposes - was shredded and thrown to the wind, both the HypnoBirthing techniques and pregnancy yoga moves I learned, were invaluable and I'd highly recommend it to any Mums-to-be.  I'm not going to say that there wasn't discomfort, but my experience of the surges that were coming every two minutes while intense, were manageable.

I really wanted to breastfeed, and it was tricky at first - I had to express colostrum (the thick yellow liquid that comes before the milk) into a syringe a millilitre at a time.  Pickle latched on really well, but he didn't know he had to suckle.  It took us a couple of days (and one very long night), but with two fantastic breastfeeding support workers at the hospital (thankfully one on the day shift and one on the night), who were able to show me different holds and provide practical and supportive help, I persevered and Pickle finally "got it" the second night.  And that was another long night as all he wanted to do was catch up on the food he'd been missing!

As for the C-section... I've no idea why anyone would want to do one electively.  I understand if there are medical reasons behind it, but jeez, it's major surgery and has a much longer recovery period.  I was bed-bound with a catheter for the first 24 hours.  The SilverLining of this is that I got to avoid the meconium poos, and BoyWonder or the nurses changed those!  But the act of sitting up and then turning to pick Pickle up from the bassinet next to the bed was difficult and painful - I had to call the nurses if he was crying to be fed the first couple of days, or if they weren't quick enough, would struggle to do it myself.  Of course, BoyWonder helped me when we got home.  And this goes on for weeks.  Neither of us was prepared for how little sleep you get with a newborn!  But somehow your body just adjusts to cope.  It helps that Pickle is so darn cute the rest of the time!

Cheers, KangaRue :)

PS. For the record, though I thought Pickle was a boy from the day I found out I was pregnant, we never actually knew... think I must have inherited my Mum's white witch abilities.

*my friend Caroline had a dream that night that I was doing laundry and went into labour... perhaps she's got a bit of white witch in her too?

The Pickling Process

Photo used with permission.

I feel like I had an easy pregnancy with Pickle, though with hindsight, it did have its tricky moments.

I came off the contraceptive pill in August 2010.  And then... nothing.  I wee'd on a stick a couple of months later, but it came up negative, so I went to the doctor to say that my periods hadn't returned and was told to be patient.  In my late 30s, and with patience never my strong suit, this was difficult to say the least.  So off to Australia on a planned holiday BoyWonder and I  went (along with my brother Wayne).  It was a surprise for my Mum and this, along with my parents wedding vow renewal, TV cameras in tow, deserves a blog post of its own.  One day, while walking on the beach, my Mum asked if I was sure I wasn't pregnant and I'm pretty sure I snapped back at her in frustration (sorry Mum!).  Back to London, and back to the doctors; it was now 11 weeks since I came off the pill and I still hadn't had a period.  A different doctor tried to put me off by telling me to come back at the three month mark... which would have been the following week, so having private health insurance, I pushed for a referral on spot.

The following week, I went to see the loveliest doctor.  He planned to do three investigations that day, but after the internal exam (not the most comfortable experience!), he switched the process around to do the internal ultrasound.  "I can see why you're not having your period" he said.  I held my breath imaging him saying polyps, cysts etc.  "You're about 7 weeks pregnant".  How I sat up from the position I was in I don't know, but I was thrilled and more than a little stunned - I really had imagined the worst.  And I do consider myself lucky to have become pregnant so quickly, as I've had a number of friends struggle with various difficulties.

The next thing was to keep quiet... probably my next greatest failing after patience!!  We held out until Christmas to tell our parents and a few close friends.  And just made it to the 12-week mark before telling work.  While I felt really tired to start with, I barely had any morning sickness, just the occasional day of nausea.  Again, I count myself lucky; one of my close friends threw up every morning of her first pregnancy, except for a week right in the middle.

So on I pottered, getting bigger.  I actually lost weight the first trimester, which I'm sure was due to not only being more conscious of what I was eating, but cutting out alcohol.

Then one day, at around the half-way mark, I was walking through Soho when I slipped on a grape that had been dropped to the pavement.  I went flying, but the worst of my injuries appeared to be a badly scrapped knee.  I still bear a large scar.  My lower back hurt, but I didn't think much of it.

Unfortunately, the lower back pain got worse.  I have a great Osteopath, so went to see him.  After a few treatments, when I realised that the pain wasn't so much in my back, as in my hips and across my pelvic bone, he diagnosed Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD).  Pregnancy hormones help loosen the ligaments and joints in order to gain room for the baby to grow and for the actual birth.  In some cases, the loosening can happen too soon and/or too much - in my case it was both, likely brought on by my slip and aggravating a prior injury.  The ligament that joins the pelvic bone at the front was over-stretching and tearing.  SPD isn't common, and isn't particularly well known.  It probably helped that my Osteo is married to a midwife, and he suggested a Maternity Support Belt - not exactly the sexiest thing alive, but it helped.  My GP had been fairly unhelpful up to this point, just putting it down to regular pregnancy heaviness, though he did later refer me to the hospital physiotherapist; my appointment was lost twice and the third appointment was eventually scheduled for after Pickle's due date.

I was - quite frankly - in agony.  I only realise how bad it was now that I'm no longer in constant pain.  I struggled to walk, and stairs were extremely difficult.  Getting up out of a chair was a struggle - and this was before the third trimester "I've swallowed a watermelon" ensued.  Living in a Victorian Terrace, which was also undergoing renovations, was less than a joy.  If I left something upstairs it generally stayed there, or I'd ask BoyWonder to go and get it.  While he was understanding, he couldn't really comprehend the extent of the pain, and eventually got fed-up with my constant requests.  Now that I will happily go and grab something from upstairs he has realised I wasn't 'putting it on'.

While Transport for London kindly supply "Baby on Board" badges, there is a certain person - generally young, male and wearing a suit - who will spot the badge and proceed to avoid eye contact at all cost.  I'm aware this is a sweeping generalisation, and was indeed offered seats by young men wearing suits during my pregnancy, but the number that fit the stereotype was laughable.  Early on in my pregnancy, I stood right in front of one of these guys, who was also sitting in a priority seat.  While I felt able to stand most days at this point in my pregnancy, I was getting a hot flash; it was -2 degrees Celsius outside, but I started stripping hat, gloves and scarf off and was fanning myself.  Eventually I had to ask to sit down (there was a little old lady sitting next to him and I wasn't going to oust her from her seat!).  He got up, but would it have killed him to offer?  I gulped down my bottle of water I'd thankfully brought from home - I think I would have fainted if I hadn't sat down at that point.  Standing on public transport with SPD though was ridiculous - I went three stops on the tube one day, and the act of balancing aggravated my pelvis so badly I was bed-ridden the following day.  Out of necessity, I would be the one saying "excuse me would you mind if I sat down?" to someone youngish and healthy looking.  I only had one person say no - well actually, the middle aged guy shouted "what, what!" in my face, and the chavvy looking guy sitting next to him that I thought would be unreceptive, hastily offered me his seat.

Years ago, my friend Joe studied hypnotherapy in London before returning to Australia.  At the time he mentioned that one day when I was pregnant, I would have to look into hypnotherapy for giving birth.  When telling him about Pickle, I asked him about it again.  He gave me a few questions to ask, which freaked out the first consultant I contact whose response was, shall we say, less than positive.  Luckily, I discovered Dany from Tums2Mums on Twitter, who was happy to answer my questions, and offered to meet BoyWonder and I prior to signing up for a HypnoBirthing course (which we started the following week).  The techniques and mp3s Dany provided not only helped me to remain calm and focused during the birthing process (more on that in a later post), but also for the remainder of my pregnancy AND helped with pain control for the SPD.  I was doing Pilates and yoga prior to becoming pregnant, and continued these for the duration of my pregnancy, which I'm sure helped with focus and calm... the latter not necessarily being one of my most natural states.

Photo used with permission.

I did end up on crutches for the last month of my pregnancy, but regardless of this, and other than the pins and needles that appeared in my hand, and the day I partially lost my eyesight for a couple of hours with subsequent headaches, and the cankles I was lumbered with towards the end, I still consider myself lucky to have had a relatively easy pregnancy, with my SilverLining no doubt being the gorgeous little boy that I am very thankful for.

Cheers, KangaRue :)

Win Ice Skating Tickets!

I love ice-skating.  I’m not very good at it, but enjoy it immensely.  Coming from Australia, we don’t have outdoor ice-skating rinks (well, none that I know of), and certainly none during the festive season, which is the height of our summer.  One thing I’ve loved doing each of the 12 winters I’ve endured in the UK is go to an outdoor rink and stumble around.  I have been lucky enough to do this in Edinburgh, Kew Gardens, at the base of the Tower of London, Canary Wharf, and even in Berlin.  I missed out last year, as I was pregnant with Pickle; and this year with a newborn and recovering from SPD (more on that later), I will eagerly await the opportunity to return at the end of this year instead (though not the return of winter!).

The fabulous Westfield Stratford City has kindly offered a family ticket (for 2 adults and 2 children) for this weekend, so some of you out there can enjoy their outdoor real-ice rink set against the backdrop of the Olympic Stadium and East London skyline.  You’ll have to be quick though, as the rink is only open until this Sunday, so the competition closes at 5am on Friday 6th January.  Skating sessions are open:

• Saturday 7^th January:  9:15am-11pm
• Sunday 8^th January:  11:30am- 6:45pm

There are three ways to enter - please see the Rafflecopter form below.  The blog comment is mandatory, and you can get extra entries by following me on Twitter and by tweeting the message detailed below.  

Happy skating!

Ag-solutely Delightful

 Recently catching up on my Twitter feed, I heard a couple of people discussing The Royal Norfolk Show.  As they were discussing good food, it grabbed my attention, a quick google, a phone call to BoyWonder and we decided to take the day off work later in the week to head up there.

I love Ag Shows, but it had been years since I've been to one - The Royal Easter Show in Sydney was something that I loved going to as a kid.  The animals, produce displays and shows meant a great family day out, but as I got older, the focus of the show seemed to become more commercial with increasingly ridiculous prices for showbags and rides.  To be fair, there now seem to be some more reasonably priced showbags, but with the most popular lolly bags being $12-15 and the kids character bags at $20-25, it's not going to be a cheap day out for anyone.

But back to The Royal Norfolk Show...  it was a proper Ag Show.  I had a brief stint at an Agricultural Advertising Agency in what seems like a lifetime ago, and BoyWonder grew up in the country, so we know what a real Ag show is like.  And this one didn't disappoint.  After a quick glimpse at the dogs, we legged it over to the food tent to watch Dr. Tim Kinnaird demonstrate making the most beautiful Rose Macaroons (with natural colouring made from beetroot extract).  I'd sent a couple of cheeky tweets to Tim a day or two before the show, so it was lovely to meet him afterwards for a giggle.  And while I completed meeting the Masterchef 2010 finalists, I never did find out who was which of the hear-/see-/speak-no-evil monkeys.

Further wanderings around the food tent, we discovered Edinburgh Gin.  Now I'm usually a Tanqueray girl, but OMG, this is absolutely delicious.  A distinct yet subtle taste of botanicals, some specifically Scottish in origin (juniper berries, milk thistle, pine and heather) as well as the distillation taking place in "Jenny", a Scottish Copper Pot Still, have led to my changing allegiance at home, and hopefully out-and-about as it becomes more widely available.  The Sheep Dip Whisky that originally caught my attention at the stand was also really nice - beside the great name - with hints of orange, and low-peatiness, so yes, a bottle of this also made its way home with us.

Time for some lunch.  I'd been tweeting with Sarah from Bray's Cottage about the show (it was her tweet originally that led me to discovering it was on), I was on the hunt to try The Perfect Pork Pie.  Now, I'm not usually a huge fan of pork pies - I find them too fatty with too much jelly.  BoyWonder decided on a medium traditional pork pie (supposedly for slicing or sharing between two!) and I went for a Thai chilli version.  WOW!  This really is the best pork pie I have ever tasted.  The quality of the meat from home-reared rare breed pigs is obvious, it was well seasoned with a hint of onion marmalade, and the pastry was lovely as well.  Now I just need an excuse to order some!

Off to check out some livestock, everything you could possibly imagine from birds, alpacas, cows and bees... but my favourite was this inquisitive pig.  I named him Bacon.  I think BoyWonder's perverse sense of humour must be rubbing off on me - growing up he (briefly) had lambs named Lamp Chop and Mint Sauce.  Then we wandered around the farm equipment, saw the tractor show, with some really old tractors as well as the most modern bells-and-whistles variety.

Pork crackling and some craft stalls later, we spotted some bikes.  I had been on the verge of buying a new bike over a year ago before I put my back out.  Then my physio said no cycling (anything sitting was putting pressure on my problematic lower back).  So the old bike remained in the shed - it was just to heavy for me.  Lighter in weight and cheaper in price than the one I almost bought a year ago, I fell in love with this gorgeous pale-gold traditionally styled bike... Pretty isn't she!  I've now started cycling to work, and one week in my back has been pretty good, my knee has bothered me more. 

We apparently "had" to see the ferrets.  I've not been won over, though they have soft & silky fur, they stink.  So we headed back to the dogs, and saw the cutest puppy - we'd been speaking to her owner at the start of the day - win the best of the Toys category.  Now, I've wanted a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel for a while... the name Grace Kelly has already been chosen to join Lulu & Hermes in the handbag inspired names of our fur-babies.  And I think BoyWonder may be won over now as well.  Time and budget restrictions mean it won't be happening anytime soon, but how long can we resist these big brown eyes?!

What a fab day out!

Cheers, KangaRue

PS.  Do you like Ag-shows?  Have you ever been to one?  And are my pun-titles killing you?

Belated New Year's post and a round up of 2009!

Happy New Year to you all!  What a busy year it’s been for BoyWonder and me. While not technically in the last 12 months, I’ve included some photos our honeymoon in Koh Chang, Thailand. We had an amazing time relaxing, swimming under waterfalls and even riding elephants!

BoyWonder has been working extremely hard, and coming home to renovate the house which is slowly coming together. He has done a spectacular job: replumbing downstairs, sanding and varnishing the Victorian floorboards, installing new plumbing for the soon-to-be completed ensuite upstairs, cutting a trench through cement for the new waste, putting up a stud wall, not to mention the lighter touches of painting etc... The electrics have now been rewired and the ensuite should be installed soon. The dark plywood panelling has been removed, and most of the rooms replastered. Installing a loft ladder in the master bedroom created some amusement when he almost got himself stuck in the loft and I had to cut through the ceiling plasterboard to rescue him!


I have continued my Bachelor of Counselling studies, and have been pleased with the marks I've been getting. It’s been difficult to fit in with the hours I was doing at work; but I've transferred departments and changed roles early in the New Year, which should result in a better work-life balance (so far, so good!).  Mostly I'm looking forward to having lunch breaks again so I can get to the gym. Unfortunately last year, I put my back out, and after an MRI, spinal injections and regular physio, it is now getting much better.   As well as this blog and BookCrossing, I am starting a book-club with a friend (the first meeting is on Wednesday this week, and we're discussing "The 19th Wife"), and hope to return to regular indoor rock-climbing after a number of years hiatus; all whilst continuing study of course. There’s no rest for the wicked after all.


The garden has come along in leaps and bounds. With annual bulbs of tulips and irises flowering in the spring, an abundance of herbs such as rosemary, mint, parsley and lavender; the veggie garden was prolific, supplying much of our fruit and vegetable needs with everything from tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, potatoes, garlic, blueberries, strawberries, spring onions, red onions, chillies, capsicum, snow peas, rhubarb and asparagus. The garden created the perfect back-drop for a couple of get-togethers with friends: an early summer barbeque and a White Party for BoyWonder's birthday. This year the plan is to continue the White Party theme with a White Christmas-in-July.



We were lucky enough to see Tina Turner in concert at the beginning of the year; but were disappointed not to get the opportunity to use our Michael Jackson tickets.  I was also lucky enough to see Take That and am now anticipating Bon Jovi in concert.


We have had some good news in the extended family with BoyWonder's youngest sister, (pictured!), winning many horse-jumping, dressage and cross-country competitions; and I became a Great-Aunt!  BoyWonder's Uncle, Aunt and Cousins also visited from Australia, so I got to meet them for the first time. We were also lucky enough to have a visits from some of my best friends, thoughtfully spread throughout the year so I didn't miss anyone for too long!


Our cats, Lulu and Hermes continue to be spoilt rotten.  They love exploring the garden, especially now they have more freedom with the cat-flaps BoyWonder installed. Though they are really not enjoying the snow this winter and would like us to do something about the temperature!  Over the summer we put up our inflatable pool, and while Lulu didn’t mind doing a few laps, Hermes is most definitely a land-lubber!





Creation in the kitchen has also continued, though this is far more BoyWonder's forte. More unusual meats such as Guinea Fowl, Rabbit and Venison have been experimented with, to great success. And espumas (culinary foams) are likely to be the latest addition to the plates he will be serving up in 2010.


We discovered the secret supper movement in the middle of 2010. This is where people who enjoy cooking open up their homes (for a suggested “donation”) to complete strangers for a dining experience. It differs from a restaurant as you sit communally with the other diners, so we got to meet interesting people over good food whilst also having the voyeuristic pleasure of poking around someone’s home. While there were only a handful of the supper clubs at the beginning of 2009, loads have sprung up in the final months of the year; we’ve only tried three so far, so there are plenty more to explore, and perhaps when the house is finished…

Early in the year we holidayed in the Cotswolds, setting up camp by a trout farm, spending time exploring the area and catching up with family and friends. It was lovely and relaxing, which we definitely didn’t have enough of in 2009 - fingers crossed for more travel and R&R in 2010!

We are looking forward to 2010 and wish you and your family a year filled with love, laughter, health and prosperity.

Cheers, KangaRue xoxo

Anyone for Bugs?

Bugs Bunny that is...

Lulu and Hermes are posh cats - they get fresh food: rabbit four ways as well as fish and chicken.  Rabbit is not something I've ever eaten before, but I was inspired by Browner's Hare Three Ways.  So when doing my last order of rabbit I decided to order some for BoyWonder and me to eat for a change.

Bagging up rabbit offal surprisingly didn't turn me off cooking dinner!  I'll spare you photos of that. ;)

I'm happy with the results, though I forgot to include both our home-grown shallots, and the yorkshire pudding - well, it is a Sunday roast after all.  But the home-grown potatoes were delicious.  I wrapped the rabbit in prosciutto to keep it moist after stuffing with garlic and basil.  Next time I might try thyme.  Corgettes (zucchini) and carrots finished off the meal which was well complemented with a South African pinotage.  I won't be swapping beef or lamb for rabbit in a hurry, but I'd definitely try it again.  Would you be game?!

Cheers, KangaRue